Saturday, 24 December 2011

Dreams of an Absolution

My life is far from exciting. I'm a professor of maths. Normally, I'm fine with the mundanity of it all, but today I feel different.

On my way home, I stopped by a bakery and felt for the first time in my entire life a very odd feeling. I felt a need to avoid the door behind the baker. It was never my intention to go near the door in the first place, but for some reason, I felt almost.. afraid of it. I could not rationalize this fear for the life of me, but it took my appetite away, so I left without bothering to get my meal.

I don't mind skipping a meal. Food is essential to the human body, but my body is often fine with going a while without sustenance. In fact, I often do this on purpose. When I skip meals, my dreams react strangely. I might dream of fields of velvet, clouds that rain sand down on empty cities where everyone lives... and I enjoy these dreams. They inspire me, get me through my days.

In a way, you could say these dreams are my personal dreams, my ambitions. I want to-- this is silly-- walk these fields of velvet, wander the empty streets with this feeling of not being alone, and be content in a world of imagination.

I want to live a dull life with much excitement. I want to live the ultimate paradox.

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